Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The happy mind!

I am writing after a long time today. When i look back as to why was there such a big gap between my last piece and this one, i can only say that i did not feel like writing all this while. But when i tried to dig deep into the possible reasons for this gap, three possibilities emerged.

First one is astrological. My mother told me sometime back that when i was writing in full flow, a couple of months back; it was the "KETU" which was making me do all that as KETU brings popularity to one. So in that period not only my blog increased my popularity(even if it was due to some unhealthy reasons) but i could also see myself interacting and talking to a lot of people which suddenly stopped after sometime and i went into my own soon afterwards This keeps on happeing every once in a while but that all this, had such a close relationship with the KETU moving 'in' and 'out' appears to be much more than a mere coincidence to me. But for now i can not elaborate this hypothesis beyond this point.

This brings me to the second possibility which is that for an output to happen some input has to happen regularly. As in for writing or thoughts to come out, a lot of thinking/churning/reading/observing/feeling has to happen which in turn brings out various shades of gray and life into writing. All these activities also sharpen the sense of humour unconsciously is what i have observed in life till date. And as i have been reading quite a bit for some time now i feel i have a strong support for this theory. Now that i had some serious input i am again ready for some output is how it is i feel. But as they say "garbage in; garbage out" i might just be churning out useless stuff right now. But at the same time as i have been reading the Upnishads of-late i seriously think that this output can not be purely useless. I rest this argument here without discussing in detail the correlation between the quality of input and the output.

The third possibility is that only a happy and relaxed mind is a creative mind. Of late i have been preoccupied with issues related to 1)job change 2) flat change 3) money matters 4) bride hunt for marriage. The 4th option seems irrelevant at first because it has been occupying a peice of my mind for the past 15 years but still as it has made me think and evaluate, probably i feel it could have added to the stress/anxiety/uneasiness at some level or the other. So the above factors have not only given me stress but they in a sense deteriorated the relaxed state of my mind which i remember was there when i was writing on this blog in full flow. Back then, not only was i thinking about a lot of social/national issues but i was getting new ideas to express/write all the time which i believe measures the creative levels that my mind was experiencing. But for the last couple of months i have only been thinking about the above 4 topics, more-so for the first 3 than the last one as it has been a more or less constant for some time now. During this period i was not thinking about anything apart from the areas of concern discussed above and was even stressed at many points in time due to our inherent inability to predict/see future. Now the question is " how am i suddenly writing again?". The answer to this question lies in the fact that now i think the level of relaxation has increased although it might still be far away from the levels that i enjoyed earlier. And this increase in relaxation has been due to i think a) more than a month in the new job now b) getting hold of a new flat c) some respite visible on the money front d) and making peace with the fact that "shaadi" might take some more time, on the marriage front.

Now having elaborated all the three possibilities i personally think a combination of all the 3 possibilities might have been the reason for me not writing very frequenly for the last couple of months and may be,that period ,which was marked by lack of creativity is near its close now.