Monday, December 28, 2009

स्वर्गीय तिवारी जी ! (मेरा प्रथम हिंदी व्यंग्य लेख)

कुछ दिन पहले हमारे मोहल्ले के मिश्रा जी घर आये थे कुछ देर बैठने। ऐसी बैठकें उनके दैनिक जीवन का एक अभिन्न अंग थी। यह खासतौर पर ब्राह्मण समाज के लिए महत्त्वपूर्ण विषयों पर होती थीं इसलिए मिश्रा जी के सत्संग का आनंद केवल एक जाति विशेष तक ही सीमित था। अबकी बार जब वे आये तो माथे पर एक दुःख की रेखा खिंची हुई थी। और इससे पहले की वे अपने दुःख के कारण से हम सभी को अवगत करा पाते , ३-४ फ़ोन कॉल आ गए जिनके कारण चिंता की रेखाएं और गहरी हो गयीं। फिर मैने पूछ ही लिया " क्या बात है अंकल जी परेशान नज़र आ रहे हैं ?"। तो पता चला की कोई तिवारी जी हुआ करते थे, जो की अमुक मोहल्ले में, अमुक के घर के सामने, रहा करते थे, वे स्वर्ग सिधार गए हैं। अब साहब स्वर्ग सिधारना तो ऐसा है कि जीवन का एक हिस्सा है मैंने सोचा। जो आया है सो जाएगा। मिश्रा जी जैसा ज्ञानी यह सत्य जानकार भी कैसे इतना दुखी हो सकता है। थोडा और पूछने पर चिंता का कारण सामने आया कि तिवारी जी तो गए सो गए, उनके जाने के बाद अचानक यह पता लगा है कि उनकी दो पत्नियाँ थीं। भाई अब समाज में कुछ लोगों ने २-३ पत्नियाँ रख भी ली तो ऐसा क्या पहाड़ टूट गया। कई ऐसे हैं जिनकी कभी शादी नहीं हो पाती और समाज का संतुलन बना रहता है। अन्य सभी १ पत्नी के आगे ही पानी भरते दिखाई पड़ते हैं, तो दूसरी या तीसरी की तो कल्पना करने का प्रश्न भी उठ कर खड़ा नहीं होता। तो हमारे हिसाब से तो तिवारी जी एक शूर वीर थे जिन्होने एक महान योद्धा की तरह दो दिशाओं से शब्दों एवं अपशब्दों के तीर झेले और अंत तक लडते हुए वीरगति को प्राप्त हुए। पर तभी मिश्रा जी ने दुःख का असली कारण स्पष्ट कर दिया। तिवारी जी कि एक पत्नी ब्राह्मण थी और दूसरी निचली जाति कि। तो भाई दुःख इस बात का था कि जब तिवारी जी जैसे महान योद्धा के जीवन में प्रवेश पाने का सौभाग्य एक और नारी को मिलना ही था तो वह भी ब्राह्मण क्यों नहीं हो सकती थी। यह ब्राह्मण समाज कि विवाह योग्य कन्याओं के साथ सरासर अन्याय था। साहब, मैं तो कहता हूँ कि तिवारी जी ने यहाँ भी अपने श्रेष्ठ होने का ही प्रमाण दिया था। हमारी प्रिय बेहेनजी (मायावती) कि ही तरह उन्होने सवर्णों और हरिजनों को जोडने का प्रयास किया था। यह कदम सही मायनो में मनुवाद के विरोध में उठाया गया होगा।

अब जब स्वर्गीय तिवारी जी कि असीम प्रतिभा का उल्लेख हुआ ही है तो मैं अपने कुछ और ओछे विचार भी व्यक्त करना चाहूँगा। तिवारी जी अत्यंत चपल और चतुर थे। यह सिद्ध होता है उनके द्वारा, दो पत्नियाँ होते हुए भी, भारतीय समाज में ५० साल से अधिक समय तक बिना किसी कष्ट के जीवन व्यतीत किये जाने से। हमारे समाज में तो किसी लड़की के किसी बालक के स्वप्न में आने मात्र से ही अड़ोसियों पड़ोसियों कि व्यर्थ टीका टिपण्णी प्रारंभ हो जाती है।मुझे दुःख होता है कई बार ऐसे कुछ अभागों को देखकर जिनके बारे मैं मोहल्ले वाले तो सोचते हैं कि वे कई लड़कियां घुमाते हैं जबकि सच्चाई में वे बालिकाओं के सामने आ जाने कि स्थिति में वे ऐसे हो जाते हैं जैसे सांप सूंघ गया हो। तिवारी जी काफी दूरदर्शी भी थे। वे जानते थे कि समाज में आज मनन और चिंतन कि कमी हो गयी है । विशेषकर युवा वर्ग में। अब अगर वे अपनी दो पत्नियों का पता मृत्यु से पहले ही लग जाने देते तो उनके समकालिक लोग ही उस समस्या से प्रभावित होते और शायद उसे सुलझा भी डालते पर नहीं , उन्होने अपने अंत समय तक रहस्य को खुलने नहीं दिय जिसके फलस्वरूप मेरे जैसे युवा इस गंभीर विषय पर चिंतन कर रहे हैं। चलिए अब जो भी है, तिवारी जी तो भवसागर से पार पा गए। आशा है हम भी अपने इस विचार मंथन की सहायता से आने वाले वर्षों में एक से अधिक पत्निया रखने वाले स्वर्गीय व्यक्ति होने का गौरव प्राप्त करेंगे । भगवान् तिवारी जी कि आत्मा को शांति दे। राम नाम सत्य है।

Friday, December 25, 2009

3 idiots - my reflections

I had the privilege of watching this so "talked about" movie yesterday.Watching it was a feat to my mind, as it was a holiday and the entire 120 million human beings residing in Mumbai were either expected to throng Lonawla/Khandala belt or the multiplexe. Right in the morning (yesterday) news had started trickling in about the heavy traffic jam enroute Lonawla.So we went and booked the tickets for the 6:25 pm encounter with the movie at 2:00 pm but still could get hold of tickets in the 3rd row from the screen only. I must say it was a hard earned movie watching experience.


Coming to the movie and the subsequent thoughts which are the causes for effecting this post. Movie brings home the central theme time and again which is "Kabil bano...success apney aap aa jayegi..", as in, the focus should be on developing the "kabiliyat" which can be translated into 'capabilities' approximately, rather than running after a specific job or a social status so as to be recognised as successfull by the society. The kabiliyat shall see one to a situation where the society automatically recognises the person as a success due to the beautiful work done by the said person because of his sheer interest in the field of work.In short, excellence has to be chased and not success.This is exactly what my father used to tell me and my sister always and i for one feel blessed for that.As to whether i have implemented the rule to the core in my life till date, is a subject for another post but i can definitely say that atleast i have done whatever i could see my natural inclination for. Hence i have enjoyed most part of my journey uptill here. I say 'most part' because there have been some periods where i took to ways not in line with my natural tendencies resulting in the loss of the state of equillibrium which is to be at peace with oneself i.e when the heart and the mind are in sync.


Very sound message or peice of advice delivered by the movie, i must say, for the entire human race.But i found some things to my utter dismay too."Gadha" is the word used to denote a guy who is shown to be an Engineer+MBA+who works for a foreign bank.I am not sure which act out of the three converted him into a "gadha".The engineering wala act , the MBA wala step or the working in a foreign bank wala decision.Now having committed the same crime i almost perfectly fit the above stereotype. Why almost ?.Because by the grace of god i chose to work for an indian bank.I don't have a problem with the title "Gadha" as i have been called that for umpteen other reasons by different people in the society at different points in time. And this i consider gross dis-respect to "Gadha" as it carries out its duties sincerely and without complaints making it even stand better than most of the human beings.Anyways my problem is with the underlying concept.We all have the freedom of making choices and if someone wants to study Management after his/her engineering degree, no one has a right to object.What if, that is the route for the pursuit of excellence in case of a particular person.The said person might be targetting development of as many different capabilities and mental faculties as possible for which staying put after an engineering degree might not have sufficed. Remember the legend called Lionardo da Vinci who was an a prominent engineer, inventor , anatomist , painter, sculptor, musician and writer.Engineering and MBA develop different skillsets and there is no 'either this or that' rule applicable.Hence i strongly dis-approve the criticism of engineers going for MBAs, said to have wasted their technical study, which is also at the state's expense in case of IITs and some other institutes due to the subsidised education.Study to me never goes waste.It is very likely that a person might be using his/her knowledge of engineering in a management poistion and that is when he/she has not become a scientist which could be naturally derived from the ridiculing of the character "Suhas" in the movie.


Another point which hurt me was the pathetic description of the household affairs of the Raju Rastogi.He is shown to belong from a family with a paralysed father, a mother who is tired and retired both and an unwed sister.The mockery which this movie makes of such a grim situation is despicable.To add to this is the roaring laughter that ensued in the movie hall after the description of these affairs.This is sick sense of humour at best.This is how a lot of families still live in india.And this is exactly why it becomes a matter of life and death for people to earn degrees rather than follw their interest where money does not come easy.All of us including the movie makers should be more sensitive about such depictions.


A touching movie requires the right amount of seriousness and sensitivity at all demanding places to have a long lasting impression on the minds of people.Taarey Zameen par and Munna bhai MBBS were such movies.Otherwise a very sensible and serious message gets lost in the entertainment tamasha that our movies generally are.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

राहुल गाँधी

आज मैंने एक टीवी चैनल पर राहुल गाँधी पर एक कार्यक्रम देखा जिसमे उनकी बचपन से लेकर अभी तक की यात्रा को दर्शाया गया था । मैं आज तक जब भी राहुल को देखता या सुनता था, विशेषतः जब कभी सुनता था, मुझे अनायास ही ऐसा प्रतीत होता था की यह एक ऐसा व्यक्ति है जो गाँधी परिवार से जुडे होने के कारण, वहां, जहाँ भी वह आज है, आसानी से पहुँच सकता था, इसलिए पहुँच गया है। यहाँ पहुंचना उस व्यक्ति के लिए उसके जीवन का एक और प्रयोग है न की एक साकार हुआ सपना जो उसे अपने देश के लिए कुछ करने हेतु अन्दर ही अन्दर निरंतर जला रहा था। साथ ही मेरा ऐसा भी अनुमान था की राहुल जी की सोच में उतनी भी गहराई नहीं है जैसी की मुझे दीख पड़ती है उन्ही की तरह एक अन्य युवा नेता सचिन पायलट में।

परन्तु आज के कार्यक्रम को देखने के पश्चात् और उनके द्वारा कहे गए कई शब्दों को काफी ध्यान से सुनने के बाद मेरा विचार उनके विषय में बदला है। मेरी सीमित सोच मुझे बताती है की भले ही राहुल में सोच की अभूतपूर्व गहराई न हो, भले ही उनके शब्दों में वाक्चातुर्य न हो, परन्तु उनकी बातों में, विचारों में, भाषा में और ह्रदय में एक सच्चाई है, एक इमानदारी है,जिसके कारण आज वे गरीबों के साथ उठने बैठने में नहीं हिचकिचाते हैं और साथ ही खुश भी दिखाई पढते हैं ऐसा करते समय। उन्हें आम जीवन में रूचि लेता देखकर और उनका लोगों से घुलना मिलना देखकर, उन्हें बच्चों को कंधे पर बिठाता देखकर मुझे कुछ मायनो में इंदिरा गाँधी जी की याद आती है जो मेरे विचार में इस देश के कुछ बहुत प्रभावशाली नेताओं में से एक थीं। गहरी एवं विस्तृत सोच होना , चिंतन और चरित्र में समन्वय होना , अपनी मातृभूमि के प्रति सच्ची निष्ठा एवं समर्पण की भावना होना और अपने देशवासियों के हितों के प्रति संवेदनशील होना मेरे विचार में कुछ ऐसे कारक हैं जो किसी नेता को अत्यंत बलशाली एवं प्रभावशाली बनाने में सहायक हो सकते हैं। भविष्य को तो किसी ने नहीं देखा है पर यदि आने वाले वर्षों में राहुल गांधी भारतवर्ष के एक दैदीप्यमान नेता सिद्ध होते हैं तो मुझे किंचित मात्र भी आश्चर्य नहीं होगा।

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Random musings on 'single'dom!

Singledom in an age when even toddlers claim to have girl/boy friends has its own nuances.And in my case when this gets coupled with the fact that mid life crisis is looming large,it becomes a deadly hotch potch capable of producing dire consequences for this peace loving world. Singledom is not considered a virtue like it was a few years back when it was a tradition to be single untill one got married and those with girl/boy friends were looked down upon.Today the time has changed.For the better or for the worse is a debate in itself. But it is a fact that being 'double' instead of a lowly single is a thing to be flaunted today.And the ones for whom this sticky label of 'single' is just not slipping away in oblivion, it has become really difficult to survive in the society as they are at times confused with the mentally challenged people and they are showered with sympathy and pity no end. As they say "bicharaa abhi tak single hai! kya pata kya gadbad hai iske saath".

So when i asked myself that what could be the reason of this change in the attitude , i just had to reflect on my life for the answer.This because of my single status. As for this status i personally believe that barring a few unintentional 'dates' over a few weekends of my life, which arose either by chance encounters with women or an arrangement by the parents of the party and the counterparty, i have come out a 'single' after every conscious assessment of my relationship status. So when i look at myself i can see why the young have had a move on offlate.

Singledom makes one prone to spending time alone over the weekends. I say prone because it might very well happen that one has company of other single cohabitants on the weekends for random walks and talks but it is also well nigh possible that all of them suddenly become busy leaving the single under consideration in limbo.

These lonely weekends are a dangerous proposition.Due to such weekends i have developed a chronic liking for the channel "Astha" and it seems as if Baba Ramdev and Krantikari muni shri Tarun Sagar ji maharaj are the only friends i have who talk to me on weekends.This virtual friendship might convert me into Baba Ramdev or muni shri part 2 which can have grave consequences for humanity.In addition to this i also have developed a quiet but peaceful relation with the species called lizards.I co-exist with a lizard who listens to me patiently by sticking on to the same spot for hours together when i deliver a discourse on my reflections on what the learned said on the 'Astha' channel. Sometimes i feel that may be it is in love with me as it listens to me with such great intent.I wish it is a she so that i could claim 20 years hence that i had a beautiful relationship with a female of atleast some species where we used to talk for hours together.This has always been the idea of a romantic relationship to me.So another danger highlighted so far is developing strange relationships with creatures not considered healthy and as evolved as human beings.

The third peril is - turning into a fanatic.To my amazement i am becoming an ardent follower of the RSS school of thought with no deliberate effort whatsoever.For the past few days i have been listening to Shri Arun shourie and Shri Mohan Bhagwat on the Youtube for no apparent need.It now appears natural to me that why the main acts of social service by Bajran Dal and Shiv sena are focussed on hitting out on couples on V-day. This happens due to prolonged singledom which makes people become followers of these groups inadvertantly like i am becoming.And then it is thier subliminal dislike for couples which comes forth and not the ideology of the groups as is projected by the media.

Fourth reason to my sick mind is that when one suffers from the single status he/she becomes paranoid and starts to visualize dirty things.When on a weekend i call up one of my "also single" male friends for a random talk and i am made privy to the fact that he is in Bandra at 9:30 on staturday night, i suddenly start visualizing hordes of scantily clad women all around him and this even goes till the lap dance climax at times. And all this when i am more confident of his ability to remain single against all odds then he himself.Thus it helps the young by not being single as it saves them from harbouring dirty thoughts which is supposed to save the society in the long run.

Last but by no means the least reason is that indian history is replete with cases when middle aged or even old single men led their sides to war. This because of an inherent feeling of worthlessness for having acheived only wrinkles and nothing else in life.Females who were to be won like medals and flaunted thereafter eluded them untill they were forced out of the hunt.Hence, to prove their worth to themselves they subjected their sides to war which were totally unnecesaary and uncalled for. Examples start from Bhishma pitahmah in the Mahabharata whom i assign the entire responsibility of the war that happened.Mr. Krishna Menon similarly was responsible for the indo china war due to the same reason and not to mention Mr A B Vajpayi was responsible for the Kargil conflict.Based on the above seemingly baseless allegations i feel that i could be blamed for World War 3 if my single status is not fixed soon.

So its my humble request to all the females of human origin inhabiting this earth to seriously contemplate a relationship with me even if the proposition appears intuitively to be for their own detriment.

Cammmaaaan gals....ensnare me or just buy me. I am up for sale anyhow!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

मूर्खता में ही होशियारी है - ज्ञान चतुर्वेदी

मूर्खता बहुत चिंतन नहीं माँगती। थोड़ा-सा कर लो, यही बहुत है। न भी करो तो चलता है। तो फिर मैं क्यों कर रहा हूँ? यों ही मूर्खतावश तो करने नहीं बैठ गया? नहीं साहब। हमसे बाकायदा कहा गया है कि करके दीजिए। इसीलिए कर रहे हैं। संपादक ने तो यहाँ तक कहा कि यह काम आपसे बेहतर कोई नहीं कर सकता और मूर्खता की बात चलते ही सबसे पहले आपका ही ख़याल आया था।शायद ऐसा उन्होंने मेरी फोटो देखकर कहा हो। कुछ ऐसी मूर्खतापूर्ण कशिश है मेरे चेहरे में कि आप किसी भी कोण से फोटो खींच लें, चीज छुपती नहीं। मूर्ख लगने, न लगने के बीच का एक संदेहास्पद क्षण हमेशा के लिए ठहर गया है चेहरे पर। सो लगता तो हूँ। पर आप जान लें कि ऐसा हूँ नहीं। फोटो तो हमेशा धोखा देते हैं। कुछ जो हैं, बल्कि खासे हैं बज्र टाइप हैं, वे फोटो में ऐसे नज़र नहीं आते। कई बार तो ख़ासे होशियार नज़र आते हैं। कुछ मूर्ख तो समझदारीवश कुछ इस धज में फोटो खिंचवाते हैं कि होशियारी का भ्रम खड़ा हो जाए। ठुड्डी पर हाथ रखकर मुँदी-सी आँखें रखे। चिंतन में मग्न, बगल में चार किताबें धर के या किताबों की रैक के बगल में खड़े होकर, या चेहरे पर आधी रोशनी, आधी छाया डालकर यदि फोटो खिंचता हो तो आदमी बिना किसी और कारण के ही बुद्धिमान नज़र आने लगता है।


चिंतन में पहला पेंच यही आता है कि मूर्ख किसे कहें? परिभाषा क्या है? मूर्खता नापने का कोई यंत्र होता नहीं। इसकी नपती का फीता भी उपलब्ध नहीं। बस, अंदाज़ से पता करना होता है। मूर्खता हो सामने तो अंदाज़-सा होने लगता है। फिर थोड़ी देर बात करो तो वह प्रकट भी हो जाती है।परंतु कई बार बातों से भी कुछ पता नहीं चल पाता। कठिन होता है, क्योंकि कई मूर्ख भी रटी-रटाई बुद्धिमत्तापूर्ण बातें करते हैं। साहित्य तथा चिंतन में तो हम नित्य ही इस दुनिया से गुज़रा करते हैं कि भाषा की आड़ से मूर्खता बोल रही है या विद्वत्ता? इसे समझना आवश्यक है कि मूर्ख इतना भी मूर्ख नहीं होता है कि सीधे-सीधे पकड़ में आ जाए। मूर्ख हमेशा मूर्ख ही नहीं होता। वह विद्वान तक हो सकता है।


मूर्ख टाइप के भी विद्वान होते ही हैं या कहें कि विद्वान टाइप के मूर्ख। पर ऐसे मूर्ख तब ज़्यादा खतरनाक मूर्ख साबित होते हैं और उनसे बचकर निकलने में ही होशियारी कहाती है। ऐसे मूर्ख-विद्वान या विद्वत्-मूर्ख किसी ऊँची कुर्सी पर बिराजे भी मिल सकते हैं। अब यह मत पूछिएगा कि मूर्ख होते हुए भी वह ऊँची कुर्सी पर कैसे पहुँचा।


आपके मूर्खतापूर्ण प्रश्न का उत्तर यही है कि एक तो मूर्खता की वजह से ही उसे यहाँ बिठाया जाता है। फिर कई की मूर्खता कुर्सी पर बैठने पर ही प्रकट होती है। बैठने से पहले ठीक-ठाक लगते थे। बल्कि थे ही। कुर्सी की अपनी मूर्खताएँ होती हैं। उस पर मूर्ख भी बैठ जाते हैं।


फिर कुर्सी के लिए चालाकी की आवश्यकता होती है, होशियारी की नहीं और मूर्ख होने का मतलब यह कतई नहीं कि मूर्ख आदमी चालाक नहीं हो सकता। वह चालाक किस्म का मूर्ख हो सकता है, सो चालाकी से कुर्सी हथिया ले और मूर्खता के कारण कुर्सी पर सफल भी हो जाए। यह बात अवश्य है कि मूर्खता बहुत समय तक छिपकर नहीं रह पाती।वह प्रकट होने के लिए कसमसाती रहती है। वह मौका ताड़ती रहती है। आदमी लाख विद्वत्ता, लेखन, बड़प्पन, पद, कवित्त, बयानों, भाषणों आदि से ढाँकने की कोशिश कर ले, मूर्खता कहीं न कहीं से झाँकने ही लगती है। यदि आप मूर्ख न हों या अंधे ही न हों तो झाँकती मूर्खता को पकड़ सकते हैं।


अब चिंतन में दूसरा पेंच यह है कि अंततः कितनी मूर्खता हो कि एक आदमी ठीक-ठाक-सा मूर्ख कहा जा सके? या यह भी कि कितनी होशियारी के रहते आप मूर्खता पर ध्यान न देंगे? याद रहे कि दुनिया के बाज़ार में मूर्खता भी मूल्य की तरह है- राजनीति से चलकर कवि सम्मेलन तक इसी मूल्य पर आधारित सिस्टम है। कई मामलों में मूर्खता होशियारी से भी बड़ा मूल्य माना जाता है, क्योंकि होशियारी की एक सीमा होती है, जबकि मूर्खता सीमाहीन हो सकती है। आप जितना समझ रहे थे, सामने वाला उससे बड़ा निकल सकता है। उसे खुद पता नहीं होता कि उसमें मूर्खता की कितनी क्षमता भरी पड़ी है।मूर्खता कुछ तो जन्मजात होती है, पर बहुत-सी अर्जित की जाती है। छोटे मूर्ख बाद में बड़े वाले होते देखे गए हैं। जैसे हमारे कुछ लेखक मित्र शुरू से थे, पर बाद में किसी 'संघ' या 'वाद' से जुड़कर मानो मूर्खता को ही समर्पित हो गए और लेखन में भले ही रह गए हों, पर मूर्खता में ऐसी ऊँचाइयों को छुआ कि लोग हमेशा भयभीत रहे कि वहाँ से हम पर ही न कूद पड़ें।

तीसरा पेंच यह कि क्या मूर्खता ऐसी ही बेकार की चीज़ है और होशियारी बहुत बड़ी बात? मूर्खता को छुपाना चाहिए या होशियारी को? हमारे पिता जी हमें डाँटते थे तो यही कहते थे कि हमारे सामने ज़्यादा होशियारी दिखाई तो ठीक कर देंगे। उनसे ही हमने जाना था कि होशियारी भी एक लानत हो सकती है और होशियारी प्रदर्शित करना भी कई जगह मूर्खता की बात हो सकती है। आगे के जीवन में भी मैंने ही सीखा कि इस देश में मूर्खता के प्रदर्शन पर तो कोई बुरा नहीं मानता, बल्कि अपने जैसा पाकर प्रायः लोग खुश ही होते हैं।

होशियार भी मूर्खता देखकर खुश होते हैं कि वे कितने होशियार हैं, जबकि सब कैसे मूरख हैं। मूर्खता को प्रश्रय, बढ़ावा और सम्मान तक मिलता है, क्योंकि मूर्ख आदमी किसी के लिए न तो खतरा बनता है, न ही उनसे प्रतियोगिता में रह पाता है। सो दुनिया मूर्खों से प्रसन्न है। वह तो होशियारों, समझदारों और बुद्धिमानों से भय खाती है। चिढ़ती भी है। परेशान भी रहती है। वह बुद्धिमान को बर्दाश्त नहीं कर पाती। खिलाफ़ हो जाती है। विरोध करती है। किताबें प्रतिबंधित करती हैं। किताबें, अखबार जला डालती हैं। पेंटिंग नष्ट कर डालती हैं। देश निकाला कर देती हैं। फ़तवे जारी करती हैं। गालियाँ देती हैं। प्रदर्शन करती हैं। दुनिया बुद्धिमानों के खिलाफ़ ही रहती रही है। जीसस से लगाकर ओशो तक दुनिया की इसी सामूहिक मूर्खता के शिकार हुए हैं।

तो सारे पेंचों से घूमकर चिंतन का निचोड़ यही निकल रहा है कि इस दुनिया में आमतौर पर, और इस देश में विशेषतौर पर मूर्ख बने रहने में ही भलाई है। यह तथ्य सभी बुद्धिमान जानते हैं। इसी कारण जब यहाँ किसी मूर्ख को देखो तो उसे मूर्ख ही मत मान बैठना। हो सकता है कि वह इतना होशियार हो कि दुनिया में मूर्ख बना पेश आ रहा हो। जब मूर्खता एक अप्रतिम मूल्य बन जाए तो मूर्ख बनने में ही होशियारी है।

Friday, December 18, 2009

Respect for one and all!

I have come across a few incidents of bosses misbehaving with their reportees at my work place as well as outside (as recounted to me by others). I personally feel very strongly on the gravity of such incidents and would like to express my views on the same.

The kind of mis-behaviour i am referring to here is the one where an employee is not only ridiculed but also insulted by resorting to demeaning and demoralizing sentences embedded with expletives ,at some occasions at least if not all, by a superior (the word superior represents the fact that a person is above the other in designation as per the organizational hierarchy).This type of behaviour to my mind is not only unprofessional, insensible and immature to the core but also is indicative of the lack of basic respect for a human being which he/she deserves irrespective of his/her skillset, knowledge, caste or creed.Such conduct is also self-destructive from the point of view of the organizations as the energy of the workers get diverted due to such uncivilized behaviour of colleagues rather than getting utilized in the development of skills.

I fail to understand why the so called 'superiors' forget that people work for the organizations in different capacities based on their experience,knowledge and skill set and hence do not become lesser human beings just because some parameters have put them at a lower designation.The sub-ordinates also keep silent during such incidents as they keep their self esteem attached to their jobs which is fatal to my simplistic mind.They consider themselves to be worthy of such high handed behaviour because of their lower designation in the heirarchy.They also think that they are worthless human beings because they committed a mistake in doing a calculation that was anyways a figment of illusion of the top bosses.In addition to this they get immobilized by irrational fears like the relationship with their bosses getting spoilt further or losing the job at worst.I personally believe that starving for a month or two is better than taking on all the rough behaviour thrown towards one at his/her workplace by continuing in such a job.

I firmly believe that no job in this world is rocket science afterall.Right training coupled with a sincere and responsible approach followed by practice makes excellence acheivable at about every job that is out there. If the work of an employee is not found to be up to the mark then the employee could be made to understand this fact politely either by the superiors or by the HR , as a result of which the employee might put more effort in improvement or might leave the organization with no malice in his/her heart at all.At the same time i also feel that the training programmes or the recruitment procedures prevalent in the organization are to looked at more closely if the perforance of employees is not found satisfactory regularly, after having got recruited and trained by the organization itself.

I strongly feel that different people come together in organizations with their own reasons for doing so.These reasons may vary from previous work experience to professional/ personal aspirations or simply money.And that no one is inferior/superior to anybody else at the workplace, even the strongest justifications notwithstanding.All of us must deeply ingrain this value of respecting each other regardless of anything else.

Finally, I feel that the lack of basic respect for human beings should be nipped in the bud otherwise the work conditions at organizations run the risk of getting worse. Employees will join and leave but the behaviour/conduct an organization promotes/encourages highlight the values of the organization which are obsolete if unconditional respect for each and every human being is not one of its core values.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Are you from a 'Tear'-II Bschool ?

Today i came across a job post in one of the "post job openings for fun" websites.It had these three lines embedded between the other more irrelevant details about the job opening

Location:Mumbai
Education: BE+MBA from TierII management schools
Ps: Pre MBA experienced candidates not eligible and only Tier II MBA colleges
candidates should apply

This freakingly irresponsible behaviour of the people engrossed in the business of posting jobs has angered me no end.I spent a gud 5-6 years in planning my MBA from a tier-I b-school.That i still dont know what exactly is meant by the term tier-I is topic for another post.Some people say this tier-I comprises of only IIM A,B,C. Some add IIM L in the list as someone in their family had passed out from that institute and paying respect to him for his mis-adventure appears morally invetiable. Some ignorant beings add other lowly or should i say newly built IIM's like I & K to the list.But there are these 'fools' who extend the list to accomodate other lesser b-schools who then share the tier-I league with the IIMs.It was this category of people i.e 'the fools' upon whom i placed my complete trust while i was planning and preparing for my MBA.And finally when i was ready to boast my being a pass out of a tier-I institute here comes the requirement for the 'filth' that passes out of the so called 'tier-II' institutes.Do people remember that these are those institutes which make people think as if MBA is dumb shit.They create an impression that anybody can do an MBA while the truth is that even Sir Issac Newton could have been able to crack CAT only after atleast 5 attempts.And now they say they want tier-II people in a job. How do i tell them that an entire generation in my family was spent in getting us promoted from the sleeper to AC Tier-III in the indian railjourney parlance.Now how am i suddenly supposed to promote myself from tier III to tier II if that can give me the gumption to claim my belonging to the famous tier-II category for which the job requirement has been posted. The strangest part is that when it comes to defining the tier-I, atleast there is a rough guideline in terms of the IIMs being the tier-I with may be a few others alongside them depending upon the aspirations of the children of those involved in the rankings business.But how do you define this new class called the tier-II b-schools.Where does it begin and where does it end.How do i tell a tier (n-1) b-school from a tier n b-school.May be my being from a teir-II city of Bhopal qlalifies me for the above mentioned job.I am terribly lost in these increasingly stringent job requirements. How could i switch my tiers if at all possible so as to grab a particular job.I could have bribed the TC had it been a railway journey but how do i do it in this case.Assigning my self to a specific tier has become extreamly riskophillic.This latest discrimination against the tier-I college passouts would have done Maharaja Manu proud who conceptualized the caste system in india.

But it has struck me like a lightning just now that as they say "every cloud has a silver lining" , i can also see a positive to my situation.I can take advantage of the ill-defined boundary between the IIMs and Non-IIM tier-I b-schools on one side and Non-IIM tier-I b-schools and tier-II colleges on the other.Thanks to the fuzzy memories of the subject called fuzzy logic studied during engineering i can say that i being from a non-iim and an approximately tier-I b-school i can claim to be from the tier-I or tier-II depending on the situation.I can switch sides at will based on the kind of job requirement. I can even demote my institute to a tier-III or a IV category with no pangs of conscience whatsoever which could have haunted me had i been from an IIM.Thank god i was saved from such a dilemma.Now that i realize that i am still in a position to fool around with the fools i hereby decide to send across my CV for the kind perusal of the person undersigned on the job post with immediate effect.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Lets play "Doubles"

"Double" is the name by which 'these' movies are known in the materialistic/individualistic world where human bodies are mere objects meant to act as a 'means' to an 'end' called 'sensory pleasure'.These movies stand a step lower than the category of movies known as the "Triple" in the progression of showing human beings as more and more savage in performing the sexual act, starting from utterly civilized demeanour in the normal 'saaf suthri' movies which even do not have a 'kissing sequence' to keep the youth of our country hinged to their seats.To illustrate the progression with an example

Ek ruka hua faisla (no male-female attraction whatsoever in the movie) -> choti si baat (males and females getting attracted to each other but steer clear of kissing) -> raja hindustani (kissing shown like being forced on the female) -> Kurbaan (a few kissing scenes with equitable participation from both sexes) -> any movie of Emraan Hashmi (umpteen passionate kissing sequences) -> Kama-sutra "the classic indian DOUBLE starring Indira Verma" -> Taboo 1 to 4 "the triple" ( zillion foreign as well as South-Indian versions on offer these days)


I have observed that most of the males, with whom i have interacted and have had a discussion on the utility of movies along with their corrupting influence on young minds,have a strange predisposition towards the 'double'variety as against the 'triple' variety.It is rather surprising because the focus of the latter variety is on 'doing' while the former variety focusses on 'slowly reaching that stage' of doing.But after thinking for an entire weekend, on this issue of immense national importance i finally made peace with the above fact remembering what the great 'sophie chaowdury' had said in the epic "dus ka dam".She had gleefully accepted that indian males are indeed very romantic."They feel 'pyaar' is very important" as per the wise lady.I think it is this romantic nature which makes us, the indian males, noticeably more inclined towards the 'double' variety.We love the process of undressing which i believe is what 'being romantic' is all about.Removing clothes one by one, slowly sloooowwwwwlllyyyyy....In case you like the undressing thing to happen like a channel change on the TV with a press of the remote control button then you run the risk of being labelled a "bhookha" as against the slow and steady 'pyaar ko importance dene wala'.Sometimes i have even observed guys being simply not interested in physical acrobatics to ensue after the 'remove the n layers of clothing' marathon.They get so lost in the 'means' that they get disenchanted with the 'end'. They keep rewinding the 'means' parts of the movie time and again as if a new peice of clothing is being added and removed thereafter in every replay with the help of some divine intervention like the famous one by lord krishna during 'draupadi ka cheer haran'.I strongly feel Bhavad-Gita should be imbibed better by the youth of this country as it is not advisable to lose sight of such an 'end'.

I by no means claim to be different from an average tom or for that matter dick and harry even though i feel slightly offended when being refferred to as a 'dick' in most of the social gatherings i attend.I also have a proclivity towards the 'double' variety but my social conditioning is responsible for that.When i was in the 10th standard Star Movies started airing movies with 'above 18' tag which, as i realized some years later, were the ideal candidates to be labelled as 'double'.They all had 5-6 undressing sequences on an average with only partial details of the activities that happened immediately afterwards but which to my romantic mind were anyways not important as the all important undressing had already been performed triumphantly by the hero so many times.Added to this was the thrill of watching all this at the risk of getting caught by an elder at home.Back then those movies were made 'easy to understand' for kids like me with Hindi subtitles. It gave me immense satisfaction to read lines like "Main tumharey saath sona chahta hoon","Oh..sundar ladkey..aur paas aao mere" on the TV screen as it showed the power of expression of Hindi unmatched by English which had dialogues like " oh..big boy..stronger..faster..harder" which sounded more like a motivational talk delivered by the coach of a 100 m sprint runner.Thanks to my sharp memory i had memorised the exact moments when the undressing was to happen and the duration for which it was to be performed in umpteen movies after watching them again and again on the channel. So much so that i could indulge myself in other seemingly meaningful activities untill i remembered the sudden arrival of that great moment and which i caught unfailingly.I clearly remember that at 7:30 in the morning i used to catch a few desirable sequences from the masterpeice called "the blue beard" while my mom prepared my lunch box and i consumed my breakfast sitting in front of the TV.Sahara Cup in toronto also helped me in consuming atleast 5-6 such movies as i could watch TV at 3 am in the morning with the back up of a live cricket match.I also used to visit the a vedio cassette library in the vicinity of my home which had a huge "double" collection.There were albums kept on display with 6 postcards of latest releases on every leaf of the album.But these displayed albums were the normal "thakeli" movies with no action whatsoever. I had to make a bharatnatyam like gesture with my eyes by looking in the northwest direction for 10 seconds and saying simultaneously " woh wali movies ka album dikhayiye" to tell the library owner that i was interested in the movies of transcendental meditation veriety and not the daily routine stuff.

Engineering gave me the taste of the real male world where i found to my utmost happiness that "triple" movies were available with everyone and that too everywhere. They were there in the hostel, in the vedio libraries, in the hard disks of geeks and moreover on the internet.But such was my love for the "double" stuff that i took to a fast taking a cue from Mahatma Gandhi.During the fast which lasted for 30 days i did not consume even a single movie of the "triple" variety.It was only when i got hold of some serious "double" material did i break my fast unto "death at the pornographic level". During the engineering days i realized that "double" and "triple" were universally accepted words and they were recognised everywhere."Double" was as important to an engg student as the "double-roti" for the poverty stricken mortals of the country."Yaar double hai tere pass kya" and " bhai double hai to de de" were the common sentences as if "doubles" were commodities necessary for existence like sugar or wheat.MBA brought a new term "Bhajan" into reckoning which was the term to refer to "triple".Day and night there were demands for bhajans on the IP messenger.An outsider might have found the root of indian spirituality in all this.The "doubles" were getting lost somewhere in the increasing maze of "triples" which was saddening.But i kept looking for them day in and day out and found a few hidden somewhere in the vast ocean of "triples".


Then came the work life where again there seemed to be no scope of getting hold of those lovely "doubles" as my colleagues only talked about work and "triples" if at all about movies.It was only two days back while i was returning from my workplace that i stopped over a small rickety shop which displayed many hindi song CD's.It had all varieties right from the Mohd. Rafi - Lata duets to De-dana-dan.I picked up a CD with songs of Rahat Fateh ali khan but it suddenly struck me that the shop owner who looked quite dodgy in every sense of the word was not the one to carry CD's of simple hindi songs.He was destined to be a "double" and "triple" distributor.Hence i asked him rightaway " double/triple hai kya"."Sirf double hai" came the reply.Voila! i had found my treasure.I asked him immediately to make me privy to his collection hearing which he started making movements as if he was about to hand me over some "heroine" the drug.He looked right, then left and then again right before going down on his knees and pulling out a plastic bad from a box kept under the table on which hindi song CD's were displayed.He added "chupa kar dekho" "sab naya maal hai" as if this was a part of a "brown sugar" consignment delivered at the mud island.With a mere glance i understood that this was what i was searching for quite some time and it convinced me that my love for double had won for the dodgy fellow a loyal customer.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

India needs a strong philosophical foundation

I read a peice in the TOI a couple of sundays back i guess. It read like this - "In the early days of reforms, Deng Xiaoping set the parameters of China's global conduct ; Observe developments soberly,maintain our position,meet challenges calmly,hide our capacities and bide our time,remain free of ambition,never claim leadership."

These instructions to me highlight a major difference in the approach the two countries, China and India have taken in the past towards almost everything they have done in relation to their progress as nations.The difference is of a strong philosophical foundation.

China has forged ahead with a strong philosophical foundation in place, finding its roots in the ancient chinese wisdom which in my opinion is clearly evident from the nature of parmeters set by Deng.The rules as set above are 'spot on' as far as focus is concerned for China as a nation.A strong philosophical foundation helps in providing a clear sense of direction.It helps in seggregating "important things" from the "not so important things" or for that matter "not at all important things" which in a sense decides the priorities for an individual, institution or a country.It also provides the strength and determination to march ahead when things are not going right.It helps the entity in question to acquire immense clarity of thought in terms of what needs to be done, why is it to be done in the first place and then ofcourse how is it to be done. A very strong sense of determination is also palpable in the instructions given by Deng to China for its global conduct.

India to my mind never had a strong philosophical foundation in place to start with as a nation. The country was divided on religious grounds helped not only by the religious intolerance of people but also by the selfish personal ambitions of their leaders. A strong philosophy would have given the country a direction in those times which could have in all probability made people stay together to fight against poverty etc.rather than each other.It is all the more disappointing that India, that claims to have an equally old civilization, almost 3500 years old like the chinese, also blessed with great wisdom in the form of vedas and such similar writings, does not have any influence of this wisdom on the policies and government of the nation.Our foreign policy could be summarised as - prostrate before the US , frown at Pakistan at every drop of the hat and treat our other neighbours like shit. This might be a very biased view of the entire affair but the point i am trying to make is that all our policies when analysed, lack a clear sense of direction when it comes to establishing a growth path for a country for the next 20 years.I for one agree that our democratic system does not allow us to implement many rules like China does given its political fabric but i firmly believe that a strong sense of direction for us as a nation guided by a philosophy could make progress faster even with different political parties ruling, as the direction given to us by our philosophy would prevail over the temporary differences in the personal or political philosophies. And this shall make us walk ahead with a clear focus as against the haphazard development and slow progress India has witnessed since its independence.

फ़िर लौट आओ तथागत!

This is an excerpt from the speech delivered by Gopal Krishna Gandhi on the occasion of 2550th anniversary of the Buddha's mahaparinirvana at Bodh Gaya (February 2007).This, i read in the book called "Great speeches of modern India".I really loved the way he weaved together an instruction for all of us with the help of such beautiful words and thoughts.

हमें मदद करने की वह तमन्ना दीजिये जिसमें मददगारी का गर्व न हो
रहनुमाई की वह ताकत दीजिये जिसमें 'रहनुमा' की उम्मीद न हो
पर - पीड़ा का वह एहसास दीजिये जिसमें शुक्रगुजारी की ख्वाहिश न हो
सेवा का वह अवसर दीजिये जिसमें नेतृत्व का लालच न हो
पंगु को गिरी - लांघ बनाऊँ, ख़ुद अपांग रहते रहते
अंधों को सब कुछ दर्शाऊँ , ख़ुद अंधेरे में सिमटे
बधिरों को सत बोल सुनाऊँ, ख़ुद सन्नाटे में बैठे
गूंगे को आवाज़ दिलाऊँ, ख़ुद चित मौन धरे
निर्वाण, नहीं;परिनिर्वाण नहीं,'महा' उपाधि दी है हमनें। क्यों ?
क्या तुम्हें भुला देने को ?
नहीं, तथागत ! नहीं, तथागत !
फिर लौट आओ तुम ; फिर तुम लौट आओ ; तुम्हारी बहुत ज़रूरत है।